Margaret, 38, a divorcee from Hereford was shown how to use the Internet by her teeenage daughter.  She met Alan, 44, a chemist from New York in a gardening chat room.

He asked me a question about Albertine roses," laughed Margaret. "We chatted quite often after that, mainly about our gardens at first. Then Alan sent some photos of his garden with him in it, and I straight away thought how handsome he was.

I sent photos back, half thinking that I wouldn't hear from him
again, but the e-mails kept on coming and one day after we'd
been corresponding for about nine months Alan got the chance
to come to England on business. We met up in London last
November and we got on really well together. I'm going to see
him in New York in two months time, so who knows what will
come of it?"

Lizzie Bell was only sixteen when she started chatting to Mark
on the Internet and found that they didn't live far apart from
each
other in North London. They even knew some of the same people!

After chatting every day for about a month Mark suggested that
they meet in a cafe one Saturday morning.

"We decided to both carry a copy of a certain computer
magazine,"
said Mark, "but I knew she was the one the minute she walked
in the door."
"I had already told him what I looked like anyway," said
Lizzie,
"and I made sure I liked the look of him before I got my
magazine
out of my bag."

Over a year later Lizzie and Mark are still together and
planning
an engagement on Lizzie's eighteenth birthday.

Things don't always work out quite so well though as Rebecca
42, from Leeds found out.

Rebecca joined an Internet dating service. When she first met
William he seemed like her ideal man, smart, handsome and
sophisticated. At first they had a good time together with
trips
to the theatre and the races, even a weekend in Paris, until
Rebecca began to suspect his motives.

William was increasingly "just a little short of cash" until a
business deal went through. Eventually Rebecca realized
that the deal he was waiting for was marrying her for her not
inconsiderable money.
"I later found out this was not the first time he'd tried it
either"
said a disillusioned Rebecca.

There certainly are precautions you must take to keep yourself
safe if you intend to meet people in this way.

CHAT ROOM CHECKLIST
For a start please don't believe everything you're told. He
or she may be a company director with a big house and a
company car, on the other hand they may be on benefit and
up to their eyes in debt. If someone sounds too good to be
true - they probably are!

Don't reveal too much about yourself. Use an alias or a
nickname, this is quite common practice, and don't reveal
too much about your physical whereabouts either, especially
if you live alone or in an isolated place. There are con
artists
who target the lonely and will think their ship has come in if
you
give out this sort of information.

Be aware that if you put your photograph on the Internet
anyone can right click on their mouse and put that picture
anywhere that they like in any context. Also consider when
looking at photos of others that many people put on photographs
that are years out of date when they were slimmer, younger,
had hair etc.

Don't even think about giving out your telephone number under
any circumstances. Call the other person from a public
telephone,
or dial 141 before you call them and they can't get your number
by
dialling 1471. (UK)

Use your common sense. It's easy in the heat of the moment
to give away details about yourself that you would never
usually reveal to a stranger.

Take your time and don't be rushed into meeting, especially if
you
have any doubts at all about someone. On the other hand if you
get
to know someone and they are strangely coy about meeting up
perhaps
they are already married, or ten years older or younger than
they have
told you. Beware of men or women who "love" you within days,
they
almost definitely have an ulterior motive.

When you do decide to meet, take the same precautions over your
personal safety that you would with any stranger. Meet in a
public
place, tell someone where you are going and with whom, keep
your
house and car keys with you at all times, be careful about your
drink
being spiked and take a taxi home so that your date doesn't
know
your home address.

Love and friendship have blossomed on the Internet for many
people
who might otherwise never have met, for whom the computer
cursor
became Cupid's arrow, just be careful and look after yourself.

 Colleen Moulding 1999

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Colleen Moulding is a freelance writer living in the south of
England. She is also the owner/editor of All That Women
Want.com http://www.allthatwomenwant.com
a magazine, web guide
and resource for women everywhere.
You have permission to reprint this article in your newsletter
or on your web site provided that this information is included
and you send an e-mail to editor@allthatwomenwant.com
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